When someone idealizes you?Asked by: Darryl Pfannerstill
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Idealization is a psychological or mental process of attributing overly positive qualities to another person or thing. ... They feel intense closeness towards that person and place them on a pedestal. This can quickly and unpredictably change to intense anger toward that person, a process called devaluation.View full answer
Additionally, What causes idealization?
Specifically, idealization occurs when we generate positive illusions by maximizing virtues and minimizing flaws. These illusions grow from our tendency to overlay our partners' actual traits with the (misguided) belief that his or her faults are minimal.
Just so, Is it bad to idealize?. For many people, idealization is the peak of romance. It's infused in the rush of new love and the excitement of the honeymoon period. But the truth is, idealizing your spouse is harmful to your marriage long-term. That's because idealization isn't the same thing as being enamored with, or in love with, your spouse.
In this manner, What does splitting mean?
Splitting is a term used in psychiatry to describe the inability to hold opposing thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Some might say that a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white—all or nothing.
Are borderlines aware of their behavior?
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
- difficulty trusting others.
- irrationally fearing others' intentions.
- quickly cutting off communication with someone they think might end up abandoning them.
It's common with borderline personality disorder for a person to idealize a friend, family member, or loved one. They feel intense closeness towards that person and place them on a pedestal. This can quickly and unpredictably change to intense anger toward that person, a process called devaluation.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
Narcissists usually idealise their partner in the beginning of a relationship, when they are feeling special and admired and getting narcissistic supplies. They devalue their partner, when they address their behaviour or stop treating them as special, causing a blow to their grandiosity and self esteem.
The motivation of the narcissist is to make you feel weak and powerless – so as to gain control over you. They are deeply insecure people and here they will be projecting the devaluation of and feelings about themselves onto you.
Example. A teenager in awe of a rock star idealizes their idol, imagining them to have a perfect life, to be kind and thoughtful, and so on. They ignore the star's grosser habits and rough background. A person has bought an exotic foreign holiday.
Narcissists employ charm, using their wit, resources, talent, conversational skills, and self-promotion through boasting, embellishing, and lying to manage their impression. These strategies boost their self-image and raise their status with others.
The thing that drives a narcissist crazy is the lack of control and the lack of a fight. The less you fight back, the less power you can give them over you, the better,” she says. And because they never think they're wrong, they never apologize.
A normal person enjoys kissing because they are attracted to the person they are kissing, and it feels good. But a narcissist enjoys kissing because it is a part of the seductive process that leads to them hooking their partner.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissistic abuse often involves frequent implications that you make bad decisions and can't do anything right. An abusive partner may even call you stupid or ignorant outright, though they might insult you with a falsely affectionate tone: “Honey, you're so dumb.
They feel that the narcissistic person is the only person who deems them worthy. They're often feeling insecure or ashamed of their work or creativity. They have developed self-doubt. They have begun to lose their self-control, always doing what the narcissist wants them to.
- Always Walking On Egg Shells. As a human, you tend to avoid things that remind you of terrible things in the past. ...
- Sense of Mistrust. ...
- Self-Isolation. ...
- Loss of Self Worth. ...
- Feeling Lonely. ...
- Freezing Up. ...
- Trouble Making Decisions. ...
- Feeling Like You've Done Something Wrong.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
As you can see from the above, many narcissists are quite willing to come back for as long as it suits their needs, while remaining oblivious to yours. If you cannot realistically envision a good future together that does not involve the narcissist suddenly becoming different, you might want to stay “discarded.”
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.
Maintaining Healthy Relationships
At the end of the day, people with BPD can fall in love; it just takes some work from both sides of the relationship. Treatment is the first step — options may include: Individual and couple's therapy. Medication.
- Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
- Unstable relationships. ...
- Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
- Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
- Self-harm. ...
- Extreme emotional swings. ...
- Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
- Explosive anger.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
Narcissistic individuals particularly detest crying, because for them, crying signifies that one is supposed to feel bad or nurture the individual who is upset. Therefore, they feel that when someone is crying, it is a reminder that they cannot feel empathy; which is upsetting to them.